Grow with Him I will...

After thinking lots for the past 2 days, I realized I will need a full change in myself. May Lord God grant me the wisdom and knowledge to me to see and learn how to rebuild the new me up. I know my wrongs and problems now, and I'm now willing to open my whole heart up to You Lord God to let You fill my heart with Your spirit and strength. I hope Lord God will guide me through my rebuilding process and help me shine the correct paths for me in the coming days. In the strong and loving name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

Histo

Plan to go for Histo MCQ on tomorrow only. Really dont feel the confidence to get 5 in the oral test tomorrow.

Went to church today, but I'm late. Another pastor preached today. Don't really remember his name, Pastor Lan or Lance or something like that. His preaching was great, with strong points and funny jokes. I wished I can talk and joke like him. Haha!

Thinking of yesterday, it was an unlucky day for me. Was fully prepared but somehow God just doesn't want me to do the exam yesterday. There must be a reason why and I'm pretty sure I will know it soon. Still thank God anyway because He gave me more time to restudy everything, these materials must be useful in the future, thats why..

Got myself a new music for my alarm. Its a SNSD song, not bad. That old remix of the 大悲咒 cant seem to be able to wake me up nowadays.

Made a list of what to check before I go out. Its written in Chinese. Gosh I dont know for how many years I have stopped writing Chinese words, except in the computer. ;) I cant afford to go through the same problem as yesterday.

Ahh.. Forgetful.. My main weakness. Having it since small and never improved till now. Maybe God wants me to have this weakness so that I can find another 'rememberful' girl to be with, then the relationship would be perfect. HAHA!

Got a message from parents today. Felt bad because I didn't talked to them today, where I should have did. Should send them back an SMS now.

Zi Hao please use ur brain

You cannot tremble in any way, this is not you!

You were good at adapting things, why now you cant?

Do you know how bad it is when you screw things up? You were not a person who will just give up things when things gone bad!

Zi Hao, Zi Hao.. What have you become?

Where is your confidence?

Cant you do something nicely?

Why you sucked at everything nowadays?

Sucked at it.. :(

Today I did the worst praying ever.
Thinking of what I said just now, I am laughing so hard in my own room. Especially at the part when I cant even remember Shoba's name. Oh I'm so sorry Shoba.. I was very nervous just now. I wasn't prepared at all for that. Thats why.

Okay, looks like praying and sharing is not my stuff, yet.

Somehow I realize it's so easy for me to talk to God in my heart, but when it comes to talking its another story. Hmm..

Well.. Maybe its a new thing for me, that is why I cannot do it well. If you ask me to debate on political stuff or facts I can talk like a machine gun. lol..

Training and training and training... and training makes perfect.

No one is good at the first time. But they will improve as long as they keep on trying it.

Maybe I would like to ask Andrew to let me close in prayer everyday?

Emo?

Looks like I'm emo-ing today...

Shouldn't, cuz its not necessary.

Okay. I'm emo no more! :D

Life should be happy all the time, no matter when is it, no matter where you are, no matter what you do.

You happy or not happy, you still need to go through the day.

So, why not just be happy?

Regret or not

Somehow today I realized that how different I am compared to the 'me' from 3 years ago.

I have become more thoughtful, more serious, I don't know.

Is this called matured thinking? lol..

Don't feel like it. I think its a bad change of myself. I have become more emotionless, quiet.. Like a computer who just reacts when being asked and answers the only things that it is requested to do..

I can't joke as well as last time, I cant share my thoughts and do my things as well as last time. My brain just cant turn as well as the old me. Aiks..

Where are my lame jokes??!!

Probably its just because I am too busy with studies. Pressures and less fun. Thats why. Hope so..

But I will pray hard so that the old me will come back, the one who can cheer people up, the one who can make people laugh, the one who is always a good listener.

Anyway, overall its still a great day. Went for biochem this morning and manage to pass everything without any difficulty. Especially the MCQ, lol.. Did halfway but Anton came and turned my com off, wtf! But then after that I just went to tell my teacher I got a 78, and she just happily added the marks into the name list, without asking me any other things at all. :D And the mini colloq too, looks like I'm the only one who passed today's lesson, I mean orally. Heh..

Tough times

I'm still facing the com even though the time is very limited ;)

Went through few friends' blog a while ago, and now here I am in my old blog.

Died actually, but not very.

Always thought of adding in the old stuffs into my blog, since I have all the photos, and I just need to add in some words and voila, it becomes alive again. Somehow every time when I have the feelings and urge to do it, its always when I'm lazy or busy, or inside the Metro, when I cant get physically contacted with my com. Too bad. :(

Maybe blogging is not my stuff huh.. I prefer just to relax at the corner of the room, listening to some musics and let the time just pass.

But I will try my best to resurrect this blog. Thinking of spending 10 mins a day here, wont hurt much.

Anyway, today is Sunday. Should have been a relaxing day, but I just cant feel it. Probably because of things playing in my mind and exams and stuff.

Suddenly thought of my 2 new family members. Still don't know their names yet. Hehe.. Will ask tonight when I call my parents.

Shto etta? (What is that?)

One Mimi, one Momo, one Money, and this 2? Aneh and Macha?